


You

by happyxwalsh



Series: Season 1 [8]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 1x04, M/M, Panic Attacks, real sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 20:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15670638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyxwalsh/pseuds/happyxwalsh
Summary: “The closest I have to a happy memory is you.”





	You

_‘I killed someone. I fucking killed someone.’_ Connor repeated in his head, pacing outside apartment 303. Oliver wouldn’t want to see him, especially like this, but he has no choice. It’s either he sees Oliver or goes insane and jumps off a building. And that second idea seems like complete bliss in this current moment. Everything feels like it’s hitting him at once, taking over him and catching him in a riptide. Connor’s drowning and hopes that Oliver will be able to save him, before he crumbles into the darkness.

Connor can’t even feel his fist, as he knocks on the door. All his limbs went numb, and nothing makes any sense anymore. “Connor, what the hell are you doing here? If this is a booty call-“

“It’s not. I just really needed to see you, more than ever,” The law student tenses, at the thought of needing someone. He never thought he’d get up to this point, where he felt like he couldn’t breathe without someone.

“Why do I have a feeling this is about work? I’m not hacking anything for you,” Oliver crosses his arms, maintaining a strict exterior.

“Is that _really_ how I appear? Just some user?” His heart breaks into a thousand pieces. Sure, he knew  
that he was terrible to Oliver but he thought at least he wasn’t the worst person in the world. That’s his dad.

“No, you’re simply not into relationships and that’s fine. They’re not for everyone. I can’t hate you for that,” Oliver softly speaks, showing the type of kindness Connor has always wanted someone to show him, “why are you here?”

“I screwed up, Oliver, so bad. I keep screwing up everything and now my life is over because of it,” The younger man breaks down into hyperventilating-crying. Oliver watches as this perfect man crumbles like he’s so fragile that one touch could kill him. The younger man finds himself on his ex boyfriend’s doorstep, completely broken to a point where no one could fix him even if they tried. But Oliver doesn’t give up that easily.

“Hey, it’s okay, just breathe. Think of a happy childhood memory,” The older man thought it would work, but it only made Connor cry harder.

“I don’t have any,” through the tears, he focuses on Oliver and whispers, “the closest I have to a happy memory is you,” Oliver stares at Connor, in disbelief. Is he actually the younger man’s best memory? The hacker isn’t sure if he should feel flattered or sad. Connor must have been through a lot to say a couple of weeks was the happiest he’s ever been.

“Do you remember what you said to me the night after we first met?” Oliver speaks clearly, hoping this would distract him.

“I said... I’d see- see you around, you didn’t- didn’t believe me but I did show- show up two days later,” The law student stammers, while reaching out for Oliver’s hand. Almost like he is trying to apologise for going back to him, “God, I’m so sorry for everything.”

“I forgive you... let’s just get you inside for a shower, because in the nicest way possible, you smell,” The younger man feels comfort in Oliver’s arms. It’s like a mother’s hug, but so much more safe. No pain can get through this bubble they built.

The older man carefully guides Connor to his bathroom, turns on the water, and sits down next to him on icy tiles. “What happened? You’ve clearly been through something traumatic, and I want to help you. I hate knowing you’re in pain so, _please_ , let me.”

“I got involved with something bad tonight and I’m risking serious jail time. I’ve never been this scared about anything before, and that’s saying a lot because I’ve dealt with situations that you wouldn’t believe. But this time I’ve really fucked up, and I can’t make this better.“

“Says who? Surely it can’t be as bad as you’re-“

“I covered up a murder tonight, I dismembered his body... trust me, Ollie, it’s really bad,” he breaks out in tears again. Through his blurry vision, Connor makes out Oliver’s horrified face. The law student’s convinced he’ll kick him out.

“Shit... definitely wasn’t expecting that,” the hacker grabs his hand, holding it in a soft manner, “Look, you’re safe here. I _promise_. I can tell you generally feel scared. Once you’ve calmed down, tell me everything.”

Connor’s never felt safe, but somehow with Oliver he did. He doesn’t take his eyes off him, as he allows himself to trust this one person. Although to Connor, this isn’t just one person because his heart is attached. And if the younger man is attached, he truly must be important.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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